Newsbreaks for Wednesday

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In a press conference today, President Bush said he was certain that Iran was supplying deadly weapons to the Iraqi insurgency, and pledged that he was "going to do something about it." The President then went on to define the term "deja vu."

Comedian Al Franken announced today that he was running for the US Senate in 2008. When asked why he was running, Franken said bluntly, "The events of the past few years have demonstrated that it's not enough to say the right things. People must step up. Citizens have to make their voices heard. That's the only way we'll ever get SNL off the air."

Tuesday, a tornado ripped through areas of New Orleans still rebuilding from the disaster of Hurricane Katrina. Said one resident, "This is like living in Sodom and Gomorrah, but with none of the good parts."

In Jerusalem, members of the Israeli parliament are debating whether to oust that country's President, who faces rape and sexual assault charges. President Bush expressed his support saying, "I told Moishe a million times: just do it to the country."

American Idol judge Paula Abdul is coming clean about, well, being clean. "I've never been drunk. I have never done recreational drugs," she says in a new interview with US Weekly. "Just look at my 20-year career." Paula, honey, we're trying to give you an excuse.