Newsbreaks for Monday

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Today, the Iraqi cabinet approved draft legislation setting out that country will divide its vast oil wealth. Though the law still has to be ratified, it appears to have support among all of Iraq's major factions: the Shi'ites, the Sunnis, the Kurds, and Halliburton.

According to Iraq's new constitution, the law won't take effect until it is approved by the Iraqi Parliament, which is Bush's nickname for his pen.

UK officials say an 8-year-old British boy who weighs 218 pounds may be taken into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet. They call the boy "obese"--of course, in American English, we'd use the term "average."

I think that boy's been on every Southwest flight I've ever taken.

The FDA is admitting that a new two-shot vaccine for bird flu isn't very effective. Said a researcher, "It's hard enough just catching the birds once."

And finally, a sorority at DePauw is in the news after some girls were kicked out for not being thin or pretty enough. "Imagine that," said the bear in the woods. "Could you hand me some toilet paper?" "Right after I finish doing my rosary," said the Pope.