Newsbreaks for Thursday

Audio version is here.

White House spokesman Tony Snow said yesterday that President Bush sees South Korea as a model for US involvement in Iraq. In other words, American soldiers stationed there for decades, with World War III possible at any moment. Snow called this policy “Uneasy Peace in Our Time.”

“The President knows this course will take great courage and resolve,” Snow continued. “And, every night, a fistful of Ambien.”

Federal authorities in Seattle say they’ve arrested one of the world’s worst producers of Spam email. Twenty-seven year-old Robert Soloway has pleaded not guilty to all charges saying, “I HAVE made millions working from home.”

Authorities say that, as a result of the arrest, internet users may actually notice a decrease in the amount of Spam. Wow, I didn’t realize he had to type each one.