Newsbreaks for Friday

Audio version is here.

Treasure hunters announced today that they had found $500 million worth of treasure in a shipwreck in a secret location somewhere in the Atlantic. This could be the richest haul in history…or just another tie-in.

After New York mayor Michael Bloomberg said that his city was being flooded by guns purchased illegally in Virginia, gun lovers there responded by holding a free gun giveaway. When asked about the role that firearms play in incidents like the Virginia Tech massacre, this man said, “We believe the tragedy could’ve been avoided, if everybody had exercised their Constitutional right to…drop out of high school.”

Remember folks: guns don’t kill people, college kills people.

And finally, the head of one of America’s top trauma centers said today that Abraham Lincoln might well have survived his wound, with the help of modern medical technology. Of course, we have other kinds of technology, too.