Newsbreaks for Thursday

Audio version is here.

Text:
The Thai government has blocked access to YouTube, after a user uploaded a video mocking that country’s monarch. Excuse me for a second, I have to go sing our national anthem.

Apparently the final straw was when the video juxtaposed images of King Bhumibol Adulyadej with pictures of feet. You mean like…this? Okay, I chickened out.

I don’t need a bunch of angry Thais coming after me. I’ve got enough on my plate. Maybe if it weren’t tax time.

Authorities in Seattle say a 14-year-old girl there was sexually abused by a woman posing as a 17-year-old boy. The girl suspected that her boyfriend Mark wasn’t male, but couldn’t be sure because he would never let her see his privates. Dear, if Mark HAD been a 17-year-old boy, he would’ve done NOTHING BUT show you his privates.

And finally, a Toronto elementary school principal has pleaded guilty to flinging feces on a child. But the worst thing—the really horrible thing about it, is—she didn’t use her hands.