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The Kremlin announced today that former Russian leader Boris Yeltsin has died at age 76. The cause of Mr. Yeltsin’s death was described as “heart failure,” but alcoholism is demanding a recount.
The Veterans Administration has agreed to allow the pentagram, or five-pointed star, to be used on grave markers. “We’re very pleased by this,” said Wiccan officials. “We’re also very pleased by this,” said teenage boys looking for something cool to steal.
A fast-fingered girl from Pennsylvania has captured $25,000 for winning the world’s first text-messaging contest. When she learned of the judges’ decision, 13-year-old Morgan Pozgar screamed “OMFG! OMFG! Smiley! Smiley! Smiley!”
And finally, a new study refutes the claim that using a cell phone while driving is no more dangerous than talking a fellow passenger. Researchers in Austrailia have found it’s actually twice as dangerous to use a cell phone. And she doesn’t even have her license.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Newsbreaks for Monday
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