Newsbreaks for Friday

I particularly like the last one.



Audio version is here.

Text:

Police in Baltimore arrested a seven-year-old for riding a dirt bike on the sidewalk. Then they handcuffed him, fingerprinted him, and even took a mug shot. Okay, somebody’s been watching a little too much of “The Wire.”

The kid was so short, they had to put the cuff around his neck.

A 35-year-old man was plucked from the ocean today, eight hours after leaping from a cruise ship. I don’t blame him; shuffleboard has that effect on a lot of people.

In the wake of a recent fire in the Bronx that killed ten, experts want to overhaul many of the nation’s fire codes. “Look at this one,” said an official. “Who has time to figure this out? ”

And finally, fed up over Federal inactivity, six U.S. counties are going ahead with their own plans to combat global warming. The counties, which include the cities of Seattle and Chicago, plan to reduce carbon emissions by promoting telecommuting, hybrid cars, and the use of alternative fuels like plentiful, clean-burning Republicans.