Newsbreaks for Wednesday

Happy Spring.



Audio version is here.

Text:
Last weekend, a group of unidentified vandals broke into an excavation in the ancient city of Pompeii and toppled a huge column. Though no one has been arrested for the crime, authorities suspect that it was the work of the recently outlawed terrorist group, Friends of Vesuvius.

A Boy Scout who slipped away from the rest of his troop during a camping trip has been found. Twelve-year-old Michael Auberry survived four days alone in the wilderness by sleeping in trees and drinking creek water. A fellow Scout said that Auberry left the Troop Saturday because he was sick of camping. I wonder how he feels about it now.

Some Mennonites in Missouri are considering moving, rather than getting their pictures taken for a driver’s license. They say that their religion forbids “graven images,” which includes photographs. If that’s so, somebody should tell whoever runs this porn site.

And finally, the UK branch of McDonald’s announced today that it will try to get the Oxford English Dictionary to change the definition it has for “McJob.” The company says that the current definition is derogatory. McDonald’s has tried to strongarm dictionaries before, but so far, the answer has always been the same: “McBite Me.”