Newsbreaks 9.17.07 (Greenspan's book)

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Alan Greenspan is a lot like Henry Kissinger; both men got famous while in jobs that, if you’re doing them right, shouldn’t make you famous.

But among a certain crowd—old white guys—the cult of Greenspan is second only to the cult of Warren Buffett. If either one of them could also win the Super Bowl, they’d become Dictator-for-Life.

Now Greenspan has written a memoir, where he supposedly sets the record straight about his 20 years leading the Fed. Greenspan’s got what I like to call “Gore’s disease”: the only appropriate time to speak your mind is after you’ve relinquished all power and influence. Anything else is just rude.

The book’s first bombshell is Greenspan’s admission that our war in Iraq is really about oil. The second bombshell is anybody who doesn’t realize this already, won’t believe Greenspan, either.

The book also talks about other facets of Greenspan’s life—for example, his years as a jazz musician. So that’s why he kept interest rates so low for so long—he was on the nod.

Let’s face it: Greenspan’s book will be a lot more talked about than read. After all, nobody really wants to know what Andrea Mitchell likes in bed. On the other hand, now you know what to get Gramps for Christmas.