Newsbreaks 8.29.07 (2nd Anniversary of Katrina)

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In New Orleans today for the second anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, President Bush marked the occasion with a moment of silence. In other words, he just stood there. “And…scene. That was me during Katrina. Wanna see me during 9/11?”

After six or seven other moments of silence, the Performance-Artist-in-Chief continued with his speech. "New Orleans,” the President said, “is going to be better tomorrow than it is today." “Yeah you right,” somebody yelled. “You won’t be here.”

Did you know that the levees won’t be finished until 2015? If George Bush had been running D-Day, both sides would’ve just turned French.

2015 is eight hurricane seasons from now. Eight. President Bush has this charming habit of playing Russian roulette while aiming the gun at other people.

This guy has been President for six years, and I still can’t decide whether he’s mildly retarded or terrifyingly brilliant. Getting it done by 2015 is a lousy way to protect New Orleans, but it’s perfect timing to blame a Democratic incumbent. Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for President Jenna.

Meanwhile, the press is reporting that unidentified pranksters did a number on Karl Rove’s Jaguar. They wrapped it in plastic, put eagles on the back, and stuck a big Barack Obama poster in the back window. Is it too obvious to say something like, “These are your tax dollars at work”?

I’m just glad Rove is taking it in the right spirit. You never know with these guys—one man’s harmless prank is another man’s Reichstag fire.