I'm not even the funniest person in my APARTMENT

Wife Kate found this collection of notes in her desk this morning--it's the background of the character she plays in "Danse Macabre," an improvised 1930s-style monster movie currently playing at Second City's Skybox.



"AGATHA BRACHNYA

Extraction: Russo-Ukrainian border (little-known Srebnian people)

History: Came to work with producer Conrad Brunst as young immigrant maid. Now in mid-60s...After a young actress had to drop out of a production owing to an hysterical pregnancy, Agatha stepped in to assume her part--Crette the parlor maid. Ever since, no actress has successfully been cast for any parlor-maid or housekeeper-like role with Conrad Brunst production. They have all fallen mysteriously ill before filming began.

Filmography:

Shrew in the Twilight--Bette

Craven Dreams--Frette

Nocturne of the Damned--Lette

Rash of Torment--Nette

Sphinxster--Smette."



So, as we can see clearly, I am not even the funniest person in this apartment. Some days I even come behind one of the cats.