...Jack Silbert forwarded me this funny piece he wrote recently.
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Thursday, August 24, 2006
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Posted on 3:27 PM
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1 comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!
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Bob Haggis says:
Hello from Trebekistan!
My esteemed colleague Professor Bob Harris likes to compare himself and his new work The Prisoner of Trebekistan to such authors as Albert Camus and Bill Bryson and their books The Stranger and Thunderbolt Kid, respectively, on the basis of Amazon.com's system of co-rating books based on customer purchases.
www.bobharris.com
I can see why he would like to be considered a peer of sorts to writers of the caliber and reputation of Camus and Bryson. However, a recent visit to the Amazon.com website that features Prisoner of Trebekistan shows a more intriguing set of books that purchasers of Professor Harris' tome proceed to buy. Among these seemingly odd choices are Woof: Perspectives into the Erotic Care and Training of the Human Dog, Soaked! The Watersports Handbook for Men, and First Hand: An Erotic Guide to Anal Fisting.
http://www.amazon.com/Prisoner-Trebekistan-A/sim/0307339564/1/ref=pd_sexpl_esi/002-1870032-7244834
(By the way, the cover photo for Woof is one of the most remarkable things I have seen in my entire life, truly hilarious.)
I was as surprised by these correlations of consumer choices as you may be, but a recent visit to Trebekistan has solved the mystery entirely. The citizens of Trebekistan have many peculiar habits and hobbies that relate to these various books.
For example, man pudu love is not merely permitted, it is encouraged by the state. President Harris leads the peoples of Trebekistan in this example, by proclaiming without shame his desire to be "nuzzled" by these cute little mammals, and his acolytes describes ecstatically their desires to "cuddle" with pudus. However, seeing several of these "nuzzlings" in public, I realized that these "pudus" were actually guys dressed up in pudu costumes. Until President Harris completes his guidebook Bleat:Perspectives into the Erotic Care and Training of the Human Pudu, this fine volume by Daniels will have to suffice for the guidance of the citizenry. The practice of man-pudu love, or "pudurasty" as it is called here, is a striking example of the heterogeny of the sexual practices of mankind.
The next book, Soaked: The Watersports Handbook for Men would seem to be related to the national sport of Trebekistan. In my hotel I watched TV for an evening and was struck by TNTV (Trebekistan National Television) programming. The sole fare was repeated reruns of Jeopardy and instruction in watersports, conducted by President Harris himself. I must say, it would not be my "cup of tea," but watching the President demonstrate new watersports techniques *is* a strangely compelling spectacle.
Finally, the book First Hand: An Erotic Guide to Anal Fisting also seems to fit into the mores and customs of the people of Trebekistan. Trebekistan has a sort of man-diety, once known by the Christan name Alex Trebek, but now simply referred to as The Host. Before the filming of the national game, called Jeopardy, the people assemble in the Cathedral of The Host, where The Host conducts a certain ceremonious invasion of The President. It looks very unpleasant, for the President that is, but apparently President Harris is willing to endure great indignity in oder to procure fame (and to mollify The Host so that he might appear again on a TV game show).
It really is a marvelous place, Trebekistan, and I urge you to visit and see these fascinating people and their idiosynchratic but very charming customs for yourself.
Kind regards,
Professor Bob Haggis
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