But "Dog Bites Shark"? That's news--check it out. They don't say what kind of dog, so I'm imagining a pug doing it.

Read this article…

This article on dumb books was amusing. And though I generally prefer Dan Savage to Tristan Taormino, her latest sex column in the Village Voice has some interesting facts about that most utilitarian of objects, the dildo. And while we're on the topic, a Japanese company has developed something it calls a "Super Onan Machine." No thank you--the only moving parts I put myself near are ones that understand "STOP!"

Read this article…

News from the UK this morning: This Sunday, Barry Trotter and the Shameless Parody will notch its 26th week on the London Times bestseller list! Six solid months! Have you bought your copy yet? Better hurry, before they run out of trees!



Also: putting the finishing touches on Barry Trotter and the Unnecessary Sequel, which according to my wife is even funnier. I didn't have a breathalyzer handly, but I don't think she was drunk. It's due out September 4, 2003 in the UK: you can preorder it here. Arrangements are still being made for a US edition, but I'll post that info as soon as the ink's dry.



Also: new Strong Bad.

Read this article…

Kate had the line of the evening. After Roman Polanski won, she quipped, "Ah, Hollywood. If you diddle a 13-year-old, you get a standing ovation, but if you criticize the President, you get booed."



She also found this great piece by David Sedaris. Check it out.

Read this article…

Two interviews I read recently which I'd like to pass along: one from Roger Ebert, and another from Eric Idle.

Read this article…

The closest I ever come to heaven is listening to the Beatles. Some of you already know this about me, but I spent most of my formative years in pursuit of lost Beatle songs; many, but far from all, of these ended up on the BBC and Anthology series. (All the people in the house who've heard "No Pakistanis," say "Yeah!") It was a rather brutal hobby--always expensive, the sound quality varied from muffled to absolutely horrible. Plus, the record stores always seemed to reek of cat pee. Later, after I had moved on to other pursuits and didn't have any spare money to spend anyway, there was another generation of Beatle boots out there, on CD and much more worth the dough than the endless "Let It Be" session retreads--"Hear Yoko say something spacy!" "Hear George coughing!"--I suffered through.



So anyway, a friend of mine has just forked over three of the best (to my ears, at least) Beatle boots out there: Free As A Bird (The Dakota Beatle Demos), Unsurpassed Demos, and Stars of '63 . The first is a collection of the best unreleased Lennon demos from his "househusband" days, 1976-1980; this includes the legendary "third song," redone by the Threetles in 1995, "Now and Then." Really nice stuff; it will be in my player a lot. Unsurpassed Demos is a collection of White Album-era demos recorded at George's house in Esher; I'm listening to it now and it's actually making me like the White Album. I know, I know, it's beyond the pale to admit that any Beatles album doesn't do it for me, but just between you, me, and the turntable, I've always found the White Album to be a really lousy listening experience--some great songs, but it just oozes bad vibes, as far as I'm concerned. Finally, Stars of '63 is a recording of a Beatles performance in 1963 for Swedish radio. Live Beatles is usually awful--they couldn't hear themselves play, so their showmanship actually deteriorated from around 1964-66. But this is very tight, very nice, "She Loves You"-era stuff.



The only non-Beatle bootleg I've ever been interested in is "Smile," Brian Wilson's great unfinished pop symphony from late 1966-early '67. (Do you own "Pet Sounds"? YOU SHOULD.) The version of Smile I have is decent, but it really only whets the appetite, so I've joined a Yahoo Group called The Smile Project, which is a group of fans that are refining the collection of Smile tracks, and will burn you their current version. I cannot wait. Meanwhile, here's a link to a nice site devoted to Smile.



And of course there's The Beatles Anthology just released on DVD...A birthday present? Or can I wait that long?

Read this article…

Who wouldn't love a culture that produced fake see-thru skirts? Over here, we occupy ourselves differently--with fly-powered airplanes, for example.

Read this article…

It's a rare site that you can stumble on, be obsessed with for a day or two, then come back years later and still be fascinated by. Wilson and Alroy's Record Reviews is such a site. I remember wiling away several days of a horrible week temping back in '98 with it, and will always be grateful. You should dip into their exhausive artist listings, pick somebody you like and see if you don't agree.

Read this article…

My pal Simon has created a simple Barry Trotter game, which you can play here. He's a talented young feller, that Simon.



And speaking of all things fanly, here's a site devoted to Strong Bad. (If you want the real thing, click here.)

Read this article…

...is here. At 74, he hasn't released an album since 1965, which is around the time that politics went insane in the US, in my not-so-humble opinion.



Not that it went insane from a Lack of Lehrer--I don't know, maybe it did; maybe he was the linchpin holding our ever-fractious and aggressive country together; don't look to me for this info, I wasn't born yet. But 1965 is around the time that some sort of thinking mainstream gave its last gasp and disappeared. Perhaps the issues of the day began to arouse too much emotion (satire's enemy) instead of thought. On the other hand, maybe the trouble isn't how we view politics now, but the issues themselves. Lehrer talks about the extremely complicated nature of what faces us today--you can't put a "on the other hand" in a satirical song. Anybody who would make light of suicide bombings is, let's be honest, being at least as sociopathic as they are satirical. And so we get jokes about screwing, ad infinitum et nauseam.

Read this article…

If you went to Yale, or just love someone who does/did, you'll be interested in this scathing editorial in The New York Times about its labor troubles. Embarrassing, depressing, off-pissing.

Read this article…

A Trotter fan writes: "I was reading good ol' Barry at school, and all of a sudden as I open the first page everyone's like: "OMG, who signed it? Where'd you meet him? Can I borrow it?" Blah blah blah. . . I now know not to bring the book to school again. :)"



Has this ever happened to you? Would you like it to? Then go here and purchase your very own signed copy of the book! Profanity upon request. Supplies are limited--order now!



Also, Jon sends this column on the shoddiness of English books. Troubling indeed. Fear not, the signed copies are the super-durable, impervious-to-most-forms-of-attack US edition.

Read this article…

Strolled down memory lane last night with Squeeze's "East Side Story" and The Jam's collection, "Snap!" Wonderful British power pop from the darkest years of my teenagedom. Music like this--and The Beatles, of course--was the light at the end of my tunnel. What's so difficult about being a teenager is that you have an adult-sized identity without an adult-sized life. Nobody I knew was remotely like me--which meant I was just like everybody else! Shit, my stomach's hurting just remembering it...

Read this article…

Here's a quick profile of The Funny Times, a broadsheet humor newspaper published out of Ohio. It's good enough as far it goes: The Funny Times is a collection of syndicated cartoonists and brand-name humorists, more a good, slick no-frills publishing idea than an actual humor magazine. And God, is it ever ugly. Anyway, The Funny Times is better than nothing, and let's hope they continue to grow into something a bit more ambitious!

Read this article…

UK readers have voted transplanted Midwesterner Bill Bryson's "Notes from a Small Island" as the book that best represents their nation. Check the story out here. (Washington Post--registration req.)

Read this article…

From today's Guardian. And in other UK news, expect Barry Trotter on the Sunday London Times list for another week, its patently ridiculous 23rd!

Read this article…

...I also watched "Shadow of The Vampire" last night on DVD. I saw it in the theaters when it came out, being interested in classic horror films as well as Weimar Germany, but didn't much like it then. Guess what? I don't much like it now, either! Willem Dafoe is great, but what awful, stilted writing! Since we're back in the 1920's, well then, people must talk extra flowery. And WHY must English-speaking actors put on phoney Mitteleuropean accents (that they slip in and out of) when portraying Germans? If we are "magically" hearing them in our own language, they wouldn't speak it with an accent! The whole conceit makes it impossible to consider the characters as peers--and leads to humorous moments like when John Malkovich calls the vampire a "rat-bastard." I HATE historical movies with no respect for, or understanding of history. What a wasted opportunity...

Read this article…

In lighter news, here's a profile of cartoonist Jules Feiffer, which I enjoyed reading.

Read this article…

Jon Schwarz forwards this thought-provoking editorial" from the LA Times. In it, a devout Muslim and former colleague of Osama bin Laden lays out what issues he thinks are at stake in Iraq. Though I must admit some resistence to his rhetoric, at heart what he says is right. An excerpt: "Your government's actions are breeding our homicidal bombers at such a fast rate that we [ie, peaceful Muslims--MG] cannot cope, what with the meager resources we have to counter the threat you pose to us. Your government proposes a course of action against Iraq and beyond that will lead only to one thing: the breeding of tens of thousands of baby Osamas..."

Read this article…

Folks, very funny Strong Bad today.



Also, if you're a Prairie School freak like I am, you'll enjoy this site.

Read this article…