Xmas, Bill Hicks, my raging paranoia

All is well...or well-ish. Xmas is coming and we are awash in soy nog, farting as we sew little holiday-themed outfits for the cats. (They particularly hate the elf hats.)



To be filed under the heading, "Mike's Raging Paranoia": here's a nice appreciation of Gary Webb, the reporter who broke the whole CIA-Contra-crack connection story (via This Modern World.



Webb was found dead Monday. Of--and this made the hairs on the back of my neck stick up--a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Of course, suicide's logical after you've been hounded out of your career, but anybody who's read all the CIA dirt that came to light in the 70s--Philip Agee and John Marks and the Church Committee--well, it makes you wonder. Victim of wetwork or not, Webb will be missed. I'm beginning to believe in reincarnation, simply out of love for the underdog!



Philip Agee, in case you've never heard of him, is an interesting character. He was a CIA officer in Latin America from 1957-69, then resigned to publish an expose of the organization called "Inside the Company." Predictably the Agency started giving him trouble--"Blond Ghost" Ted Shackley among them--and he was driven from pillar to post for most of the 70s and 80s. Agee now runs a travel agency in Cuba.



The whole thing reminds me of something I think a lot these days: knowing things is not for the faint of heart. I used to wonder how, with all the libraries, so many Americans manage to keep so few facts in their heads. I'm beginning to think that many people in this country stay dumb on purpose, either through purposely not learning, or filling up on fantasy. They realize that having facts in your head often leads to uncomfortable juxtapositions. They're not wrong; sometimes I have to retreat into a world of my own creation. But I guess I can't stop myself. I am a fact-addict.



By the way, I noted with some pleasure last night that the Bill Hicks concert film I was watching ("One Night Stand," part of a new DVD collection of his live act) took place less than a mile from my house! There was another fact-addict. I remember the first time I heard his usual show-ending remark, the one about "if we took all the money we spent on armaments, we could feed and clothe every person on Earth many times over, and explore Space in peace and brotherhood." I've had that thought, and I'm sure you have, too, but I'm glad Hicks said it. Perhaps by repeating it we can make it a reality. On the one hand there is paranoia and wetwork and the evil that humans do; on the other, there is peace and plenty. The choice is real; don't ever let somebody tell you it's not. A better way to live DOES exist--and we CAN find it!